Rose Petals

Summer is ALMOST here!

2011-06-01T16:30:00.000-04:00

Well, tomorrow is the last day of school for the kiddos. Hard to believe another year has gone by so fast. But I am excited about working summer school to earn some extra money. Plus we have Fridays off so every weekend is a 3 day weekend. I will probably get spoiled by that.

November will be here all too soon. Yet not soon enough. I am so excited about our upcoming wedding. It is all planned, I just need the cash to make the dream come true.

We've been doing well on our new healthy meal plan! He lost 46 pounds in 9 weeks. We have also incorporated some new vitamin supplements from our new home-business AdvoCare. They are amazing. I am having energy galore and he has been able to eat more sensibly without all the cravings. You can check it out on www.workwithchampions.com. Hopefully our own site will be up and running soon. If you find something you like, email me at authorcarmelita@yahoo.com, put AdvoCare in the subject line and I will help you place an order.

Come on SUMMER!!! I will be ready for that bathing suit any time now!

Story : The Red Rose

2011-05-03T20:41:00.001-04:00

Story : The Red Rose
Click on the line above.

This is a beautiful story I found on a great website. It's about a rose, so I had to share!!

Diet versus Healthy Eating

2011-01-30T13:01:00.000-05:00

When I hear the word "DIET" I cringe. Oh no. NOT THAT! I've tried different types of diets in the past with some successes. Short term weight loss. But anytime I did not continue to follow the plan, part of the weight came back in the long term.

So my new year resolution was to eat healthy and exercise to lose weight AND keep it off. It should be doable because my husband is my partner in this philosophy.

We started our healthy eating last Monday, January 24, 2011. We are following a modified meal plan from the 50 million pound challenge that my husband did a few years ago. He had the menu and shopping list printed out. Which is a good thing because the website doesn't have it anymore.

Anyhow you eat three small meals with three snacks never more than 3 hours without eating. We love protein shakes for breakfast and an afternoon snack. Fruits, vegetables, meat, beans and whole grains make up the meals. The snacks can be a protein bar, or 4 animal crackers and an orange, or 6 whole wheat crackers with 2 tsp of sugar free jelly, or a handful of pretzels, etc.

The best part of this meal plan is that I LOVE all this food. It is mostly what I was eating after I broke my addiction to sugar using the HCG diet. But as with any human, I had slipped into old habits of too much sugary, processed and high calorie food, especiallly from restaurants. As a result I had gained some weight back and my clothes were getting tighter.

But with this new way of eating, I am not as sleepy, I have more energy, my clothes fit better, and I've lost 6 pounds in 1 week. (Probably all that water I've been drinking too...lol.)

As a matter of fact, I had so much energy Saturday morning I got up and did a whole Tae Bo DVD workout before 9am. I haven't done that in quite a few years.

My husband is keeping a journal of our new lifestyle also. He writes stories about our adventures. I think I will make him a blog. I will let you know when we do.

So far so good! No more DIETING for us. Only Healthy and Happy Eating now.

New Year Goals

2011-01-02T12:26:00.000-05:00

It is another new year. Seems like just yesterday it was New Year 2009 and I vowed that I would have another chance to be a wife. This New Year 2011 is the year we celebrate our marriage! Our ceremony will be on 11-11-11 before our family and friends. We've already vowed to be with each other for the rest of our lives after we moved in together. But we want our family and friends to celebrate with us in a more formal style.

We have a common goal, we want to live a long and healthy life together. We will work together to eat healthier and exercise more often and enjoy each other more and more.

We have individual goals regarding our careers and our education and spiritual growth. But we are here to support each other.

Life is so much better when you have someone by your side helping you to reach your goals.

Thank You Lord for my best friend and confidante. Help me to be the wife he needs.

Amen.

I DID IT!!!

2010-11-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

I finished my rough draft today! 50,154 words and the story ended. Well, I did have to add a prologue to help boost me past the finish line. But don't worry, that is one of the tips they give you to help you out.

So now I let it marinate for awhile without reading it so that when I edit I see it with a fresh eye.

But I feel sad. My creativity has been stifled. I don't get to spend the first hour after work writing my novel. I have all my scenes and my characters already. I need to just relax and chill and let the story set. It will still be there when I go back in a few weeks.

But I admit my inner editor is itching to get to work. I want to turn the spellcheck back on and get rid of all the red and green lines. But actually that is the last step in the editing process. Interesting. I never made it to the editing step before this year. I just sent on my little part of the story to my family. This time will be different I will edit and it will be an amazing story.

YAY ME!! I did it! Nothing feels better than accomplishing a goal.

Heading Down the Home Stretch

2010-11-22T15:35:00.000-05:00

I am at 39,201 words out of 50,000. I am so excited! The story is amazing. It is so much fun to write about these characters who have become my friends. They are telling bits and pieces of many different stories from my own experience and those from people around me. It is awesome to share the story of romance when I get to go home to my romantic husband every night. He is my biggest supporter and inspiration. He speaks my love language. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I remember in the not so distant past that I thought I would never be found by my prince. But this past year has been amazing. In 13 days we will have the one year anniversary of our first date. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was smitten from the beginning to say the least. I've probably written about this already so I won't repeat myself right now. But if I discover I haven't written our first date story here in this blog, you will be seeing it in another post.

NaNoWriMo Update

2010-11-15T16:06:00.000-05:00

So it is halfway through November and I have half my word count done. I am so excited. I discovered the secret for me was to do what the organizers of NaNoWriMo suggested and write a small amount of words per day. I did get ahead a day or two, especially on the weekends. So that was helpful on the few days I just couldn't get the words to flow. And having a community of fellow NaNoWriMos that are experiencing the same craziness and can relate make it so much easier to not quit when I really felt like giving up. I went to two write-ins. They were perfect for me. Just the right amount of people to actually accomplish a word count goal.

If you have ever had a dream and never tried to acheive it..you are missing out on so much. Just go do it. You will be so glad you did!

I see my book in print...I can see it. I can't wait to read it...lol.

Yay Me!!!

2010-11-05T13:37:00.000-05:00

I just hit 8019 words. Last year I quit at 7668. So I've exceeded my last attempt. Hurray!!! I am so going to finish this time. Interesting concept of writing though that I find so exciting is when the characters come to life and make their own way on to the page. I just had two more people show up that I didn't even know were invited to the story.

It is an amazing feeling to be in control of your own little story. To tell the world what you want them to hear without being at the mercy of someone else writing all the rules and putting boundaries in place. I love letting my creative thoughts flow and watch them come to life on the paper.

Of course it is a very rough rough draft so I won't be posting anything. My husband is sad. Our friend is also doing NaNoWriMo for the first time ever and she has let him read some of hers. So he doesn't really understand why I won't share mine. I learned from previous times that I have to have my story perfect before I share it with anyone or I will discourage myself. It's not so much what they may or may not say about my story, it is just that I want the story to be set how I want it before I share. And this one is even a little more sensitive because I am drawing on some of the experiences we have had on our journey as a couple. Not a biography, but I have taken creative liberties with our reality.

My heart soars at the thought that I can now write something I lived. I want to inspire others. I want to put a little more romance in the world with my own unique signature. I want to finish my story. Off I go...

I am now "Committed" to "Eat Pray Love" everyday

2010-11-05T13:29:00.000-05:00

Elizabeth Gilbert came into this world only1 year before I did. Her first marriage failed as mine did. She took a spiritual journey to find healing after her divorce, like I did. And she found love again, just like me. She loves to write as I do.

But she is published and I am not yet. Her latest books, Eat Pray Love and Committed, have touched my heart and brought a soothing balm to my spirit that I desperately needed through the written word.

The latest book, Committed, which is subtitled "A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage", intrigued me from the first moment I read an excerpt. After getting a fortune from a fortune cookie that read "You will soon receive some good advice through the written word", I just KNEW I had to buy the second book.

Of course it helped immensely that my sweetheart was sick in bed all weekend and I had plenty of time to read.

She starts off with the notion that marriage is a society type of control and thus rebels against its very nature until circumstances force her and her beloved to "marry" or forever be separated. Through her diligent and sometimes all consuming research, she discovers that humans created "marriage" and society had to adapt to it. Therefore when the choice must be made, she chooses matrimony because now she is part of the history of marriage and sees it as a subversive ideal that she totally supports.

I came to the conclusion that the wedding ceremony is for the benefit of your friends and family. Committing to each other privately carries the same consequences as doing it openly. Though some argue it isn't real if it isn't witnessed, I believe it is just as real with or without the legal document. Should I fail this time, I will still have the same heart ache as I had last time when there was a piece of paper signed. I just know I was better able to make a more conscious informed decision than when I was 19. I didn't have a clue back then.

Someday I will get married again. This I know. When, that I don't know.

NaNoWriMo

2010-11-03T09:25:00.000-05:00

Yay! My novel has begun. I am up to 4269 words in just 2 1/2 days. Yay me! But of course since I am writing this blog you can probably guess that I am stuck. No, not really stuck. I know what else needs to be in my story. I just have that "this isn't working out like I planned" problem. But then again that is the beauty of being a writer: you can change the character or the plot or the scenes as you write. You are in control of the words that flow. so you can choose the path your characters will take.

This time I think I will go ahead and write my scenes out of order then rearrange them when the book is complete. NaNoWriMo is all about quantity, not quality. The muse can only give creative thought right now. No more blocks. I will push through and I will finish!

See you at the end of November, or my next writer's block, whichever comes first...lol.

Fall leaves me breathless

2010-10-24T22:01:00.000-04:00

Oh my, it's fall. My most favorite time of year.

I love the cool crisp mornings, the brown, orange, yellow, rust colored leaves that cover the ground. The smell of apple cider and pumpkin spice make my heart beat just a little faster.

Fall means that Christmas, my most favorite holiday, is right around the corner.

Next fall will be even better. I am getting married to the love of my life on 11-11-11. He chose the date, he wanted to do something different. I have always wanted a fall wedding.

My colors will be burnt orange, forest green with splashes of cream and gold. Fall roses, pumpkins and leaves will adorn the tables. Pumpkin roll dessert and apple cider will be served. It will be beautiful and fall will ALWAYS be my favorite time of year.

Summer Vacation

2010-07-07T11:58:00.001-04:00

Summer vacation started a little over a month ago and has only a little under a month for me. But I love my job and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Especially since my husband works for the school district and has the same vacation as me. Well, actually he has a bit longer vacation, but that is alright.

So my summer has had its highs and lows. We moved to our new house on June 10. Very nice. I worked a week of summer school June 14-18. Sort of fun. At least I made some money to go on our vacation to Iowa. We got all packed up and left the morning of July 2 headed to Iowa. But we only made it as far as Waco. It poured down rain. The roads were slick. He saw the car in front of him hit their brakes. He pumped the brakes like he knew to do, but Little Rice didn't stop until she ran into the truck in front of us. We weren't going too fast, but the hood crumpled and we both were scared. My heart kept pounding. He got out to look at the damage. I was too scared to move. Then I started getting dizzy and my neck, shoulder and hip hurt. So I let them take me to the hospital while he stayed with Little Rice til the wrecker got there. There were lots of accidents that day.

He finally made it to the hospital. They took x-rays and gave me pain medicine. Then the doctor cleared me to go home. But Little Rice was at the wrecking yard. So insurance was going to put us in a rental car. But it was the 4th of July weekend and all of them were already gone. So a wonderful lady from the insurance office came all the way to Waco to pick us up and took us home.

Our plans were interrupted and we are now on standby until we learn Little Rice's fate. Thank goodness we were both okay. Now we have a rental car, but can't leave the state of Texas due to their policy to keep the rates down low.

So now our days are filled with sleeping, eating, being lazy, watching DVDs, playing on the computer and enjoying each other's company. I sure do wish we were in Iowa, but we will make it there when it's the right time. At least we are alive and uninjured, aside from some muscle aches, and able to enjoy just being together.

Are the taquitos fresh?

2010-05-18T09:43:00.001-04:00

I never thought I would ever watch pro wrestling, let alone like it. But it is amazing what you will do when you hang out with someone you love. Jeffy took me to NSF Wrestling at the Cove Civic Center. I had to laugh when one of the wrestlers came flying through the air and landed in the seat right next to me. Porkchop, the GM, had convinced us to move into the front row saying we would be "safe". Not too sure what his definition of safe is...lol.

Anyhow, Jeffy explained that all wrestlers choose a character to portray. Good guys, bad guys, or maybe a little of each. They use a script much like actors in a play. They perform their own stunts, so to speak. They whisper in each other's ear what they are going to do next so their wrestling moves entertain. They mouth off to each other and to the audience. Even the women wrestlers were entertaining though they talked a lot more than the guys. Typical. I'm glad my first experience was a family friendly event. We are going again in June, but this time it is at a bar and I'm not too happy about that. It might be even scarier and more wild. At least this show they weren't cussing because little kids were there. Sometimes I wish I was a little kid and people were more careful about cussing in front of me...but alas I am not. And people around me don't care. Oh well. Although I do find it amusing that for those who cuss there are "levels" of bad words. For example they think nothing of saying sh*t and da**, but oh my, don't say the "f-word" around women or children. As one who doesn't like cussing at all...the first two annoy me just as much as the last one! But if I hear it all the time, it slips out from my lips too! I prefer to only use it in one special place...

I surprised Jeffy by dancing on Saturday night with our "friend-girl" at a mexican birthday party. I know most guys enjoy watching two girls dance...I'm just glad he watched me at least part of the time. I even danced with Jeffy once. But I really like our "sitting down" dancing...I don't get so breathless, lol.

We went to the carnival at Rabbit Fest on Sunday. It was a tad humid, but we had fun. We rode the ferris wheel and the merry go round. The ticket taker at the merry go round acted stupid. When Jeffy gave him our tokens, he said "You guys have to ride in the seat"...I thought "Duh, those horses are way too small, I wouldn't even want to." Why can't grownups have fun without little kids?!

Even though there weren't so many cool vendors as Jeffy says there has been in the past...we found some treasures. We bought Egyptian Cotton sheet set 1200 thread count for only $25. Amazing smelling candles, 6 for $20. And he found a wooden frog that "sings". The ridges on the frog's back make a sound like croaking when you run the the little wooden mallet from tail to head. It is neat.

Perhaps one of the best parts of the carnival...the food! We ate roasted corn on the cob, foot long corn dogs, funnel cake, a chicken gyro, kettle corn and carmel corn (both made in a big black kettle!) He bought a huge turkey leg to take home. It was yummy for our tummy!!

I had a fun weekend because the taquitos were fresh all weekend long!!

My fabulous Easter weekend

2010-04-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

I had an amazing weekend. My boyfriend and I can pack so much fun into three days. We were supposed to go to Austin to see Phantom of the Opera, but we didn't. "It just doesn't feel right," he told me. I'm not too good at that; I just got frustrated that the timing and price didn't work out to my satisfaction.

We bought lots of goodies to put in our nieces' and nephews' Easter baskets. We even made baskets for each other. He told me not to bother getting him a basket, he would just take his yummy treats in a wal-mart bag. I said "No way!" So I found a red cloth box-shaped basket with a baseball on it and talked him into letting me get him that one. So as I gloated, he kept picking out protein bars and candy. I bought him his "mexican lamb" and some other toys and eventually ended up with too much for his basket. So what did I end up doing with all his stuff?! I put them all in a recyclable UT grocery bag we found at HEB. Bummer...he got what he wanted in the first place. From now on, I will just be thankful he knows what he likes and wants and then listen to him how to do it instead of trying to be creative and sneaky.

It all works though, I LOVE surprises and he loves to give me the best surprises! He bought me a Precious Moments Easter basket with a stuffed Precious Moments doll and a journal. I had to close my eyes before he would give me that basket. I did pick out a few things for my Disney Princess basket. Can't remember the last time I got an Easter basket.

Saturday we colored Easter eggs. Well, my first batch didn't turn out so good. The eggs didn't have a nice even coat of dye. They looked more like a pre-k project! But the subsequent batches looked much better. Then when I tried putting on the wrappers in boiling water, the first one didn't come out so well either. I guess the kitchen and I will never get along . But at least I didn't fry, waffle, poach or bake the eggs like Marcie did on Charlie Brown's Easter Beagle. His mom boiled the eggs because he took too long and she said he was making her nervous (that he would never get them done).

We also made yummy sugar free jello jiggler eggs and jelly beans. We ate lime, lemon, orange, black cherry and peach. I mentioned it to Britty and she remembered we used to have them at Grandma's when she was little. So she wants some next time she comes home. Guess we will make her some.

Sunday morning, dark and misty, we went to the park for a community sunrise service at 7am. Then his mom bought us breakfast at Ryan's. Then on to Wal-Mart followed by Sunday Service at his sister's church. Afterwards we ate a yummy dinner at his grandparent's house. We had brisket, ham, sausage, hot dogs, fruit salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, jiggler eggs/jelly beans, and cake for dessert. The kiddos hunted for eggs, and when only one was left the adults joined in the search. But still, a child found the last egg. It was colored green and the hider thought it wouldn't totally blend into the grass, but it sure did fool everyone for awhile...even all the adults...lol!

Aren't we blessed to celebrate Jesus' resurrection day?! Why doesn't everyone believe in and rely on Him? I sure do.

My first two assignments in my new writing class

2010-03-25T10:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Friend,

I turn off the highway on to the paved side road that leads to my house. I notice the blinking yellow light that warns drivers of an intersection. I use caution as I pass by the line of cars waiting to turn left. On my left stands a huge storage area that boasts “temperature controlled climates;” a necessity for our stifling hot summer days and houses without garages or storage of their own.

My neighborhood is filled with slightly rundown double wide mobile homes interspersed with older brick homes. Almost every little plot of land has multiple vehicles in the driveways. Some of the vehicles no longer run, like the rusted 1975 Ford truck with the hood missing and the old green Dodge minivan from the early 80s with four flat tires. I can tell the residents all wanted to live on a piece of land. It is not your typical “trailer park”. It is a country neighborhood. Houses are close enough to walk to, but the area looks, smells, and feels like the country.

Netleaf hackberry and spruce trees decorate most of the yards. The Bermuda and melicgrass lawns are dry in spots and faint green in others; typical in fluctuating March weather. One of my favorite modest brick home has a huge Aloe Vera plant in their front yard. Other places have Texas yucca plants or dwarf palmettos. Some places only have the trees, no plants.
I can hear the wind blow as the limbs of the trees sway back and forth. It’s peaceful out here. A few crickets sing their song at twilight. Next door I hear a rooster crowing. About the only man made sound would be the cars that drive back and forth.

As I near my driveway, I see the crystal blue lake to my right. The hackberry trees obscure some of the view, but when the sun is shining just right, the lake sparkles between the trees.

I love living in the country. I hope you will enjoy it too when you come to visit.

Hallmark Restaurant

You can read the sign from the highway. The brown background with white letters announces “Restaurant”. In smaller type, about four feet down on the sign, you can see its official name “Hallmark” once you get closer to the crowded parking lot. It makes no difference what time of day you visit; you will always have a hard time finding a parking space. It is open 24 hours.

Customers at this cozy café crave the delectable food. They come back for all their favorites. Perfect for the penny pincher, this restaurant gives you good old home cooking and a comfortable homey atmosphere at reasonable prices. From their signature smiley chef face on the menus and signs to the seasoned waitresses and cooks, this Mom and Pop restaurant makes you feel welcome.

You walk in, seat yourself and within minutes a friendly face comes to get your drink order. She will give you silverware and a full menu. Only the daily specials are on a plain sheet of paper when you first sit down. Many people have come to sit in those weathered booths and tables. The table tops advertise different businesses from around town. No two table tops are the same.

Up until about a year ago, the Hallmark was one of the few eating establishments you could still smoke inside. However, decades of smoking have left a hazy film inside. You would almost think people still smoked there even though the ashtrays no longer adorn the tables.

One of the icons of the restaurant is a man named Shorty. He sports gray hair under his worn out plain blue cotton baseball cap and a scruffy looking face. Normally he wears his faded overalls, a tattered t-shirt that used to be white once upon a time and a huge heavy lumber jack plaid jacket no matter what the temperature outside. He is over 70 years old now, but he still drives his towing truck with peeling paint that has faded over the years. You can barely read “Shorty’s” on the driver’s side door anymore. Garbage litters the dashboard. Many times you will find him sleeping in his truck. But everyone knows he belongs there at the Hallmark like a light fixture in your bathroom.

So if you would like to visit a cozy café with delectable food, a homey atmosphere, and penny pinching prices, come on out and visit Shorty at the Hallmark Restaurant in my neighborhood.

I love learning

2010-03-11T09:55:00.001-05:00

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. - B.B. King

I finished my romance writing class and realized the idea I had in mind to write about wasn't strictly a romance story. So I put it on the back burner. I also discovered that I am great at big picture ideas, just not so hot at the small details that make the stories come alive. I know part of it is because I have such a vivid imagination that when I read "she ate an apple" what I see in my mind is "a perky blonde teenager crunching a yellow delicious apple while juice runs down her chin." So now I have to remember to slow down and write more like the second description for my readers who need the details to imagine my story.

Ever the student, I enrolled in another online writing class "A Writer's Guide to Descriptive Settings." This one will challenge me to use more imagery in my stories. I plan to write this summer while I am off from school.

I am looking for a cooking class to take in the evenings this summer. I want to improve my culinary skills. I watched Food Network's new series "Worst Cooks in America" and discovered culinary skills can be learned. Now don't get me wrong, my mom is an AWESOME cook and I could have learned well from her. I just had no interest while I lived at home. I planned on being a career woman without spouse or children, so why did I need to cook? I would just go out to eat every night and let other people cook for me.

Watching "Julie and Julia" and using Pampered Chef products have both inspired me to learn to cook. Pampered Chef makes cooking and entertaining FUN and elegant! The people who sell these products will come to your home to have cooking demonstrations. This summer I am moving to my own place and my kitchen WILL be stocked with Pampered Chef products.

I will never stop learning.

My Happy Life

2010-02-22T14:36:00.000-05:00

Wow...I am so excited to actually be writing this blog. I like being happy. It is so much better than being sad.

I'm doing the HCG protocol again. Last round I lost 35 pounds, plus an additional 5 after I finished. I have kept it off for over 2 months. So I started another round last week and I am already down 10 pounds. YAY!!!

And what makes this time even better is that my wonderful, handsome, silly, and talented in the culinary arena boyfriend is cooking for me and eating with me on the weekends. We had the yummiest steamed asparagus and lobster tail last night. I tried last time to make some salad dressing, but it didn't taste good. But don't you know he made it taste SCRUMPTIOUS?! He can use the spices to perfection.

We had an amazing Valentine's Day weekend. He gave me a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a stuffed teddy bear and the sweetest card. We ate breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Temple Saturday morning and then he drove me to Dallas. I didn’t have to drive at all until I went back to work on Tuesday, yay!!

We stayed two nights at the Wyndham Hotel in Irving since we didn’t have work on Monday since it was President’s Day. We went shopping at Grapevine Mills Outlet Malls and to see a movie, The Wolfman, on Saturday.

Then we just relaxed in the hotel on Sunday and had dinner at Medieval Times that night. That’s the place that looks like a castle on the outside and they have all sorts of medieval stuff, like knights and horses and a king and a princess. It’s dinner and a tournament you would have gone to if you lived back then. We had to eat our food without silverware. It was SPECTACULAR!! We had really good seats and got lots of cool stuff because they had a Valentine's Day Package special. We got our picture taken together and we each got a copy, then we had champagne and got to keep the glasses. Well, he drank both of ours; it tasted gross to me, lol. I got a pretty artificial rose that lit up; he got a light up sword. We also got a cool looking “scroll” that was actually a computer printout in fancy text that looked like a decree the king would have given back then and they put our names on it so it said “Lord Jeffery and Lady Pamela.” We got flags to wave when our knight was participating in the tournament. The show was neat. The prince got kidnapped and the knights participated in a tournament. But then the prince saved the kingdom…it was so much fun. I had never been there before.

Then on Monday, after sleeping in late, he drove us back. We stopped at Hillsboro outlet mall and then went to go to the Premium Outlets in Round Rock, but we didn’t actually shop at those because we wanted to see another movie (From Paris with Love) and made it there just in time for the movie. He loves to shop. Though sometimes he walks too fast and leaves me in the dust. He wore me out, lol! We ate supper at Saltgrass Steakhouse after the movies. We didn’t get home until 9pm. It was great.

All I can say is that being in love like this is definitely WORTH THE WAIT!! God has blessed me so much. I do have a happy life.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-11T09:35:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day warms my heart. I've always loved this time of year. Even when I was single. Now I am excited that I have a special man in my life with whom to share the holiday. I'm sure it will be my best Valentine's Day EVER! We are headed to Dallas this weekend to go to Medieval Times on Valentine's night. We love the whole medieval time period with all the pagentry of castles, kings, queens, knights and princesses. I keep telling him he is my knight in shining armor and everyone knows I am already a princess.

I remember one year as a single, I helped host a Singles' Valentine Banquet for my church. It was so much fun...nobody had a date, we all hung out together and ate and sang and had a lesson on God's love. One of the more romantic gentlemen gave every woman there a single red rose. We cried. The main focus that night was how complete we were as singles and being together as brothers and sisters in Christ. We realized that Jesus was the BEST VALENTINE ever because He sacrificed Himself so we could live forever in heaven with Him. We understood the importance of learning to love ourselves first so we could love others. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself" was our main Bible text that night. It's true..you will never truly understand how to love others if you don't love yourself first.

Yes we should tell our loved ones every day how much we love them and yes Ashley, it is silly to have to have a HOLIDAY for some people to remember to show each other they love them. And yes, I agree the commercialism is all a ploy to get consumers to spend money on things that really aren't needed to show love.

But still, there is something sweet in the air when love fills your senses through the decorations in red and pink, and all varieties of hearts, flowers and chocolates. Don't limit showing your love to just this weekend...do it all year long!

Be sure to tell your lover, your family, and your friends how much you treasure and adore them. "I love you" goes a long way. Try it, you will like it, guaranteed.

oh ok

2010-02-02T01:22:00.000-05:00

So I guess I didn't really get the gist of the lesson I recently posted for my romance writing class. That is ok. I don't mind learning new things. Although this newest lesson is challenging. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my writing whenever I don't give my muse permission to write badly. I will not know whether I have the concept down if I don't submit something. So I've carved some scenes out of my rough draft and I will analyze and revise! Yay me! Muse, BE FREE!!! I'll let you know how it goes.

my romance writing class

2010-01-23T20:35:00.001-05:00

So I've taken the plunge and I'm taking an online writing class called "Romance Writing Secrets". I've decided on my subgenre...erotic romance..and I'm excited about getting started. So thought I would share a little of what I've learned, so here's my 2nd assignment:

Archetype : caring nurturer
Strength: compassion
Central flaw: hardheartedness
Values: family, faith, health
Beliefs: loving someone means heartbreak
Special skills: culinary genius

I knew from a very early age that I was meant to take care of people. In kindergarten I drew a picture of me as a nurse when I grew up. I always took care of those who were sick or hurt. I just wanted to help. My heart was happy when I was focused on other people. I grew up in church learning that serving others was one way to find happiness.
But somewhere along the way I learned the hard lesson that those you love will eventually hurt you. I would give my all to someone only to have them eventually ignore me and move on. My heart shattered in a million pieces as one by one all the people in my life left. My dad, my husband, my children; no one wanted to stay with me they all had some place better to go.
So I learned to take refuge in the kitchen. Whipping up healthy meals gave me the satisfaction of doing something good for myself. I will admit though that for a little while I turned to food as a solace. The textures and aromas fed my senses and filled the hole in my heart, for a little while.

I LOVE football

2010-01-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok, those of you that know me are like "what are you talking about?!" You all know I've boycotted sports for nearly 15 years now. But the reason I stopped watching sports and the reason I have begun again are exact opposites. My old specator companion used to ignore me and was too engrossed to explain anything but my new spectator companion showers me with plenty of attention during commercials and half times as well as takes the time to explain what's happening on the field. Besides, as I've gotten older I've come to value "presence" - the act of simply being with the one you love and enjoying time together.

Ugh..I hate being sick

2010-01-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

So this whole being sick thing is driving me crazy. One minute I am sick, next minute I'm not, then I'm sick again! This is ridiculous!! I wanna just get better and stay better. Sure I am a nurse, but they say nurses are usually the worst patients. i can totally see why...lol. So saltine crackers, diet 7-up and sugar free jello...oooh boy, my meals for the next few days. Now, if only I could sleep..sigh.

Dreams really do come true...

2010-01-11T10:38:00.003-05:00

Wow. I used to wonder if it would really ever happen to me. Then last year I decided to confess positive words over my situation and proclaim that this would be the year my dream came true.

I changed many things besides my words and I am happy to report...he found me. My knight in shining armor has arrived.

Somedays I think I am still dreaming and for a minute I panic thinking I will wake up and he'll be gone. But then I take a deep breath and remember..."Enjoy today, don't worry about tomorrow."

I've decided to live in the now and enjoy each little thing along the way of my life's journey. And I must say it has made all the difference in the world.

I am now loved and have someone to love the way I've been dreaming for all these years. It is true..."Good things do come to those who wait."

Maybe I am a princess after all.

To Be or To Do?

2009-03-11T15:24:00.004-04:00

Ever wonder if you were doing enough good godly things to make God love you better? Is it more important to do for God or to be for God?

I used to think that if I went to church often enough, read my Bible enough , went to Bible School to become a pastor, sang enough worship songs and volunteered enough hours at church then I could be worthy of God's love. I was wrong. I can't DO anything to make God love me any more. NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.

What a harsh reality for a self serving servant. I used to look not only for God's approval but the awe I inspired in others when they looked at me and saw what all I was doing. But I had this whole Christian life backwards. I can't go to church to become a Christian, I go to church because I am a Christian. I don't serve to be a Christian, I serve because I am a Christian.

Christian means "like Christ". It's really very simple. Read the Biblical account of Jesus's life, then emulate His lifestyle. We make it complicated because we do not understand unconditional love. If we can't do anything to make God love us less, why do we think we can earn more favor and love?!

We don't do God in order to be loved more by God, we are already loved by God, so we can do for Him.

To be or to do? I would just rather BE!!

JOY to the World

2008-12-28T01:47:00.003-05:00

I've discovered there is more to being happy than what is all around you. Anyone can be happy for a moment in time when they fall in love or discover a long lost friendship or get a new job or a new car. Or you can be happy someone remembered your birthday and sent you money inside the card. But did you know you can still be happy when the world around you is crashing down? When your checking account is overdrawn and you owe the bank money you don't even have or when your best friend tells you he never wants to speak to you again or your favorite tv show gets cancelled and you don't know how it ends.

It's true...inside your heart is a special place for a little thing called JOY. It isn't dependent on what circumstances tell you is going on. It doesn't reserve itself for special holidays or confirmation of another human around you. I've found my joy in a relationship with a Savior who is called Jesus. The One and Only Lover of my soul who came to earth in the form of a baby so he could grow up to die on a cross and then be resurrected so I could have eternal life and live forever in heaven with Him after my time here on earth is done.

I find the joy is enough to make my heart happy when I make choices that make me feel good on the inside. I've chosen this life I live and I am thankful for all that have traveled with me on this journey.

Each one of you reading this note can have JOY too. You can be HAPPY no matter what is going on around you. You can make the choice to make Jesus your Lord and Savior today. One simple little prayer, "Jesus I love you and I believe you are my savior who died and rose again for me. Please be Lord of my life." That's it. You are saved from eternal damnation and you can live a life of abundance. You don't have to be perfect, you're already forgiven. You don't have to become a mindless robot, just be yourself and follow the two most important commandments in the Bible: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.

With all that love, you won't have to worry about do's and don'ts; just walk in His Perfect LOVE!!!

God Bless Us All...Everyone!!

a brand new poem

2007-09-13T01:38:00.002-04:00

I am loved,
by Pam Swalve
9/13/07

I’ll never forget the day I met You
My world turned upside down
I couldn’t believe it was true

Alone for so many years
Just my children and me
Amidst all my tears

You brought me joy
Unspeakable
This simple story girl found by boy

For it wasn’t too long ago
I was rejected and pushed aside
Not much was left but my shattered ego

Then Your love lifted me
In a way I couldn’t believe
No longer rejected, now I was free

Free to love and be loved in return
Trusting You with my heart
Knowing I wouldn’t get burned

For in You I see:
Patience, kindness,
Hope and endurance.
But no arrogance, no rudeness,
no boasting, no selfishness.

You never fail
and now neither will I.
I am loved.

From "Back in the day"

2007-09-05T10:32:00.003-04:00

I found these poems I wrote about love over 20 years ago. But the sadness it brings me is that this is exactly how love has turned out in my life. I wrote my future. It's true that our confessions will come to pass. I am now in the process of rewriting love in my life. Come back next week to see what I expect of love now that I met Jesus, the Lover of my soul.

Goodbye

By Pam Swalve
December 14, 1986

The time had come to say goodbye
And it hurt so bad I wanted to cry.
You behaved like my lover
But now I realized you lied.
All those painful times I cried
And fearful nights I felt as if inside I died.
Your crystal clear blue eyes,
Your loving smile,
Our breathless “play fights”.
They were all just an act weren’t they?
No, please, I really do not care to know.

You’ve offended me in the very worst way!
I trusted you with all my heart,
Now you’ve just done broke it in two.
This just isn’t something I can ignore.
I fear it is burned in my heart forever.
Nothing can ever make this feeling fade.
How could you have lied and made it all seem so real?

Someday NightmareBy Pam Swalve
Written sometime in the 80s
Someday you’ll leave me, I know this can’t last,
These days when everything is such a blast.
I may become angry someday
And you’ll go off your own way
And I know for sure if that comes true
That someday I’ll need you
I’ll need ya more than before.

You were always there for me,
No matter when, no matter why!
But now you’re leaving and it hurts.
I may have taken you for granted,
But honey I need you more
Than I have ever needed you before.

My someday nightmare of
You leaving me has come true.
Oh I need so bad to have you!
You’re my one in a million,
You’ll always be my number one.
But without you, life is no fun!

I’m walking blindly,
Never seeing.
I’m talking wildly,
Never making sense.

And that’s because you’re not here
I need you now!
It’s true, I need you more
Than ever before.

Come back, make my nightmare go away.
Darling, please, come back to me!

Spoken:
You know I love you
You know I need you
So why won’t you come back?

(resume singing)
My nightmare has come true,
My darling I need you!
Please come back to me!

What If?By Pam Swalve
9/20/86
I wonder every night if you think of me at all.
My days are filled with what-ifs and maybes,
But I just can’t seem to do anything about it.
I see you everyday and have the perfect chance,
But I can’t bring myself to talk to you,
Even though that’s what I want the most.

Can’t you realize the way I feel?
Isn’t it there a longing look on my face?
I try to express it, but I guess there’s something that won’t let me.
Maybe it’s your blindness, you don’t seem to care one bit.
That’s why I don’t try as hard anymore,
Your eyes seem to look right through me.

Do you think of me as a friend?
Do you think we could ever become closer?
Are we meant to be or not?
There’s no way this’ll come from my lips,
So I guess this poem will have to do.
For now I am stuck with daydreaming and
Unanswerable questions tearing at my heart.

My heart hurtsBy a teenaged Pam Swalve
When there is nowhere else to go and no one will listen, I’ll be here. You know I’ve always waited for the chance to help you through ‘cause I’ll be here just waiting to give you the love you need. Others may not understand and try to tell me not to waste my time. But I love you too much to just let you go, so whenever you need me, please come “cause I will still be here. The things we have done in the past will always be fond memories. The good times we had were too good to ever forget. But now you’re gone and I have nothing left. So I guess that’s the reason I want you back so bad. I know we have better times ahead of us. So when you need some loving, just come to me. But now I really don’t know. If I am just going to be yours when you feel like it ~ is it fair to either one of us? Not me ~ I just get to live for when you decide to come back around. And it wouldn’t be fair if when you needed me I wasn’t there for some reason or another. So I guess what I really want to say (oh how I hate this, but) GOODBYE! My heart hurts so much when I think I’ll never be with you again. But I can’t waste my life waiting for you to maybe come back.

Choices by Pam Swalve

2007-08-15T03:13:00.002-04:00

Life is full of choices.

Compassion or Apathy
Health or Sickness
Joy or Sorrow
Faith or Fear
Life or Death
Love or Hate
Truth or Lies
Peace or War
Obey or Rebel
Spirit or Flesh
Victory or Defeat
Wealth or Poverty

The choice is yours because Jesus chose death so you could live.

“…choose you this day whom ye will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15 (KJV)

The Other Side of the Fairy Tale

2007-07-23T06:03:00.000-04:00

photo courtesy of azuzephre.net
copyright 2005 Jeff Thomas
Here's another fairy tale. Different ending, similar concept from the previous one. Which princess do you choose to be?

The handsome prince and beautiful princess are seated together in the royal dining room. The king and queen have retired to their chambers. Soft candlelight shimmers in the darkness and classical music surrounds the lovers. They stare into each other's eyes oblivious to the world around them. They hold hands as they whisper. Then the prince slips from his chair to the floor beside the princess. He leans down on one knee. Still grasping her hand and gazing into her eyes, he begins to speak...

"Darling, I have loved you from the beginning of time. You are the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have ever known. Your smile lights my world. I want to wake up every morning with you right next to me. I want to spend the rest of forever dancing only with you. I love you with all my heart, mind, soul and spirit. Will you allow me to prove how much I love you for the rest of eternity? Will you marry me?"

Tears glisten her eyes then roll down her cherry red cheeks. She lowers her gaze and sighs, "Oh my, I thought you were never going to ask."

He kisses away her tears. "Does that mean yes?"

She drops his hand and pulls away from his embrace. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I can't. I mean, I'm not good enough yet. I still have thirty pounds to lose. I have to stop drinking so much. I should go to church and read the Bible more often. Maybe if I got a better servant..."

He interrupts "Honey, what are you talking about? Did you hear what I said? I love you just the way you are. All I want is for you to accept my love. You don't have to do anything."

She pushes away from the table and stands up in a daze. Still muttering, she walks away. "Maybe if I change my hair color and buy a new wardrobe I would look better for him. Oh and if I could get rid of those friends..."

The prince remains alone, still kneeling. He hangs down his head. Heartbroken he cries, "She hasn't even seen the ring. She doesn't get it. I love her unconditionally. All she had to do was say yes."

Not your typical fairy tale...

2007-07-21T02:40:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who had no idea she really was beautiful. Whenever she looked in the mirror, she quickly turned away thinking "Ugh! No wonder no one wants to marry me." She had heard the stories countelss times of how each of her ancestors came to live in the castle. All their stories had one theme in common: a handsome prince slaughtered an ugly dragon to save a beautiful princess. Then they fell in love and lived happily ever after.

While she enjoyed hearing her history, she didn't believe it would ever become her present. Oh, she had tried many times to wait for a handsome prince to come rescue her. But she always defeated the dragon before any of them could arrive. The prince would then feel helpless and unwanted so he would leave her to fend for herself. Next thing she knew, she was hiding back in the turret, miserable and alone.

Then one day, a new prince rode into town. He wasn't like the other princes she had seen before. There was an air of confidence about him that was startling. Yet he possessed a gentleness that drew out the shyest of strangers. She watched him walk among the peasants, wondering why he had come to her father's kingdom.

She soon found out. It was dinner time at the castle and the princess was headed to the royal dining room. Her mother stopped her and warned her to be on her best behavior. When she walked in the dining room, she saw the prince talking to her father. They stopped and stood as she entered. The prince nodded to her as a blush rose on her cheeks. She curtsied and took her place at the table beside her father.

Dinner went smoothly. Then it was time for dessert. The prince got up from table as the servant brought in the scrumptious delicacies. He took the plates from her hands and served first the queen and then the king. Then the prince set the plate in front of the princess and knelt down on one knee.

"My dear," he said, "I have loved you from the beginning of time..."

She interrupted, "But, sir, I've never met you before today."

"That's okay," he said, "I know all about you. I have asked your father for your hand in marriage because I want to show you my love for the rest of your life. He has given his blessing."

"But, Daddy," the princess turned to her father. "I don't know anything about him. He hasn't slain any dragons for me. How can he know he loves me?"

The king replied, "It's okay my dear. This has been the plan from even before you were born. You were created for the prince."

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

The prince said "My love is a gift freely given. You don't have to understand to accept my unconditional love and become my bride."

"Oh sir, there is so much about me that I must change first. Haven't you heard about my stubborn independence?"

"It doesn't matter to me. Change will happen later. Just come let me love you the way a husband loves a wife," the prince replied.

"Mother, is this true?" asked the princess.

"Yes dear, it is the truth. All you have to do is say yes. He will explain it all to you after the wedding," answered the queen.

The princess drew in a breath before speaking. "Sir, I do not know what I have done to deserve such an honor. I must say I am a bit frightened. But something in your eyes that tells me I will be all right. So, yes, I surrender my independence and all my shortcomings. I will accept your unconditional love and be your wife."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth peace flooded her soul, the room began to glow, and her eyes were opened to all the beauty and majesty of the prince before her. He stood up and kissed her.

The next day they had a beautiful royal wedding and lived happily every after.

The End

GOD'S GRACE

2007-05-29T01:24:00.000-04:00

So there I was doing the Bible Study I mentioned earlier "The Way of Purity" from Setting Captives Free ministry and tonight's lesson was about God's grace. A new concept of grace was presented that I had never seen before. As I contemplated the depth of its meaning while I considered my current situation and my need for total deliverance, I bubbled over with JOY!! God's GRACE has a new and exciting meaning for my life.

The following excerpt is from an auto reply I received when I emailed the answers to the lesson. Today I am on Day 9.

"Grace is the principle that both forgives our sin AND breaks the power of it. Consider this Scripture when thinking of what grace does in our lives:

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age." -Titus 2:11-

The way that we will know if we are receiving God's grace is if we are learning to say 'no' to ungodly lust and are beginning to live a godly and self-controlled life. "

Apply this to any situation you need God's grace and you will be amazed at the results. Not only will His grace free us from sin, it nullifies the POWER of sin.

That's it! So simple yet so profound!

An Original Poem (especially for men)

2007-05-28T05:40:00.000-04:00

This poem is dedicated to my spiritual big brother, Will McLean. He wrote a book for men called "What is a Real Man?"

You can order his book at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=41177

Men , if your mother has never told you this, you need to hear this now...

The Men You Were Meant To Be

by Pam Swalve

All my boys waiting
to be real men
No more mother me

My sweet boys
all ready to leave home
Time to live your dream

The courage you lost

The tears you cried
The fears you hide
I see them all

Now hear this

You can do it
I know you can

Go fight the battle
Slay the dragon
Set the maiden free

For I set you free
to be the men
you were meant to be

Don't worry about me
I'll be fine
It's time to take
your place in life
Go be the men
you were meant to be

My Perfect Match

2007-05-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's true...I am finally "in love"! I'm not exactly certain how it happened, I just know that I was sitting there wondering what was going to become of me the way I was heading. I was so busy working the night shift, going to church when I was off, taxi-ing around my teenage daughters when they were home for the weekend and giving "big sister" advice to my little sister and her boyfriend (who I've adopted as my little brother!)

You know how they say you'll find it when you least expect it. I don't know who "they" are, but "they" are right. I'd given up on ever finding true love. I mean I'd seen enough romance movies, heard enough fairy tales and read enough romance stories to write my own. (Oh yeah, which I am STILL in the process of doing BTW, LOL!) You know, the gallant white knight who rides in, sweeps the damsel in distress off her feet and they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Or maybe the "When I first met him, he was a jerk, but now we're getting married" type. Or what about that "I hate Clark Kent, but I'm in love with Superman" type? (I always wondered how a pair of glasses could deceive her?) LOL!

Anyhow, I thought I had it all figured out what this love thing was supposed to be. Magic, pixie dust, stars, fireworks, that mushy gooey feeling that says "I've found my soulmate". After all that's how it works, right? Hollywood has seen to indoctrinating us with that ideal.
Or maybe it was really the church's way of thinking, "God will send the right person to you at the right time. He will give a divine signal that this is the one for you. oh yeah, and there's only one for you, divorce is a sin, you know." Besides if God tells you to marry this certain person, then you can blame Him saying the same thing Adam said ,"Lord it was the woman YOU sent me" Blame God, He set you up. No, He doesn't change His mind. And if He doesn't force us to be saved, why would he force us to fall in love with a certain person?. He leads us, no doubt, and "highly suggests" sometimes, but He's a gentleman and He never forces.

So there I was, wondering what it would be like, yet ackowledging it was never going to happen to me.

But then I started to get the image of the perfect match for me: someone who loves God as much as they possibly can and has made a decision to follow him for the rest of their life, no matter what the cost. Someone who loves slow music, quiet candlelight dinners, curling up with a good book any day of the week. Someone who believes having family is as important as spending "family time" together. Someone who finds refreshing in the solitude of the country with beauty surrounding them: the water, the leafy fall trees, the crisp wind, the sounds of nature. Someone who loves people but doesn't mind being alone from time to time. Someone not afraid to cry or laugh or yell depending on what emotions are going on at the time. Someone that can hear my heart's silent cries and give me exactly what I need right when I need it.

Wow, could a person like this really exist? I stopped for a minute and began to wonder if I was setting the standard too high. But then...it happened...all of a sudden, without warning...I realized I already knew just the person. How could I have missed it? How could I have been so blind? Why did I stay in denial when the love was right there with me all the time?

Oh well, no use beating myself up for my deftness, it was time to take action. I got up, straightened my shirt, brushed back my hair and walked over to the one I knew I loved, but had never taken the time to tell. I stood with shoulders back, face on, cleared my throat and leaned closer to the smiling face and beautiful shining eyes. I said, "You know what? I really do love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

And you know what happened?

My reflection smiled back at me from the mirror and said, "That's okay, I knew you'd figure it out one day!"

"And the second [command] is like it to love your neighbor as YOURSELF!" Matthew 22:39

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2007-04-19T08:51:00.000-04:00

I answered that simple question in kindergarten with a drawing of a nurse passing out medicine. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood I got sidetracked a time or two. First I went on an author kick. I wanted to write best selling novels in the third grade, but I never finished any stories. Then I thought about being in the Air Force so I could be an astronaut during high school and college. But I became a wife and mother instead. Finally I went back to college after remembering my kindergarten assignment and enrolled in nursing school. Then before I could finish, I became an ex-wife. Today I am a nurse. But life didn't work out quite as smoothly as I envisioned when I was five years old.

One day I was challenged by a pastor to love my neighbors as I loved myself. But I had a problem, I didn't love myself. I felt like a failure. Life hadn't turned out the way I imagined. I soon realized the answer to loving myself was right in front of me all along. I had to become the "Pamela Charmeon Swalve" God had created me to be. I needed to discover my unique gifts, talents, personality, temperament and passions, then use them for the glory of God.

So I began to search. Now I am operating within my temperament, personality, abilities, gifts, talents and passion, I truly enjoy working as a nurse. I've begun writing more in my free time. After all, maybe in kindergarten and third grade I knew myself best.

Perhaps you haven't figured out what to be when you grow up. Maybe you've changed your mind, major or job for the 50th time. That's okay. Keep trying and seeking God. Take time to discover your temperament, personality, abilities, gifts, talents and passion.

No matter what you do, you should just be you. Believe me, you'll even like yourself better. I pray that the next time you're asked that simple yet profound question your answer will be: "When I grow up, I want to be ME!"

A Bad Fairy Tale Turns Good

2007-02-04T20:29:00.000-05:00

When I got married, I thought I was the princess who had just been rescued by my knight in shining armor. Four short years later, his armor was so dented and rusty that I couldn't even remember why I thought he was my Prince Charming. When he turned his back on me and walked out of my life, my castle crumbled. My heart broke in a million pieces and I vowed to stay locked in the turret for the rest of my life. I was through with men. I wasn't some damsel in distress to be rescued. I could take care of myself. I knew how to slay dragons and ride horses. I would be just fine.

I never planned to raise my own two princesses without a knight beside me. But I had no other option. I went to nursing school, graduated two years later with my bachelor's degree and slowly let down the drawbridge to my heart as I rebuilt my castle.

I met another knight, then another, then another...but I never let any of them get too close. I kept them at arm's length because I refused to bury my bitterness and it seeped through my facade. They left shortly after they realized I was not going to let them rescue me. I didn't need another knight. I had learned to use the sword myself and I could fight better than any of them any day. The drawbridge closed and I felt safe.

After awhile I became lonely and desperate, I let down my drawbridge and asked knight after knight to come rescue me. I jumped in lakes, ready to drown, only to be left there because the knight was afraid to swim. So I swam out and saved myself. Again, I drew up the drawbridge and fortified my castle. No one could get in. The only problem was, I couldn't get out either.

Darkness covered my castle. Happiness disappeared. My two little princesses weren't so little anymore and decided to go to their daddy's castle instead. I let them go, I wasn't doing any of us any good.

The thorny vines from my once beautiful rose bushes overgrew due to neglect and soon no one could see my castle anymore. I sat in the tower, alone, desperate. Close to giving up I cried out, "Lord, where are You?! I need You!"

Looking up with tears on my face I saw a beautiful sight, sitting on top of a majestic white horse was the most handsome Man I had ever seen. His eyes looked straight through me and filled me with a love I never knew existed. He reached out His hand to me and said, "Come away with Me, my princess. I have waited all My life for you. I've loved you since I created the world. Now that you need Me, we can begin the journey I've had planned for you since the beginning of time."

The sun began shining again, the vines parted as we rode down the drawbridge, my heart soared like an eagle. The Knight I had been looking for all my life had been right beside me all the time just waiting for me to call on Him.

Once upon...

2007-02-03T07:17:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time in a land called Ohio, there lived a beautiful young girl named Carmelita. She was a pretty young thing with lovely blonde hair and sparkly green eyes. She was living with a wonderful family full of fun and laughter. A male and female guardian and two younger girls and a younger boy comprised this delightful family unit. The guardians took very good care of her and the other children, but one day, she realized something was missing in her life.

Her guardians took her to church every Sunday. The male guardian stood on the platform each Sunday and told stories about a man named Jesus. Carmelita wasn't sure who this Jesus was, but He sounded like a decent man. The male guardian told the congregation they could each have a personal relationship with this Man named Jesus. All they had to do was believe in their hearts and confess with their mouths that Jesus came to earth as a man even though He was the Son of God and that He was born here, died here and was resurrected from the dead to sit at he right hand of His Father, and they would be saved from an eternity in hell, lost forever.

One day the young girl bowed her head and said the prayer. She believed with all her heart that Jesus was her Lord and Savior and she vowed to serve Him. She didn't know what lay ahead for her, she just knew she would never face it alone because her Prince Jesus would walk beside her all the way. When it would be dreadfully hard and exhausting, He promised to carry her in those low moments of her life. During the joyful and exciting times, He would dance in celebration with her. Wherever life took her with its twists and turns, she would never be alone...He would always be there. She had found that missing part of her life and she began the journey of a lifetime.